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half​-​boy

by half-boy

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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      £4 GBP  or more

     

  • Poster/Print + Digital Album

    Eight prints created by eight artists, each given one track.

    A free digital download of the album will be included with a print purchase.

    All proceeds from the album and print sales will go to support Mermaids UK, a charity supporting trans and gender diverse children and their families, and Say It Out Loud Club, which supports LGBTQ+ refugees and asylum seekers in the UK.

    Print artists:

    Nighthawk - Tinuke Fagborun
    12 Hour Kiosk Shift - Grace Garnet
    Sweet or Salted - Jo Mance
    Femme Fatale - Julie Reintjes
    Secret Handshake - Katrina Longo
    The Ghost of Screen 1 - slav.spice
    Xmas Party - Joe Daly
    half-boy - EJ Lee

    Paper Size: 20.3 x 25.4 cm / 8 x 10 in
    Print Size: 15.5 x 15.5 cm / 6 x 6 in

    Printed on matte photo paper.

    Includes unlimited streaming of half-boy via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ... more
    ships out within 3 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      £20 GBP or more 

     

  • Cassette + Digital Album

    Limited edition cassette tape, plus 13x13 cm prints for all seven tracks + album cover.

    Includes unlimited streaming of half-boy via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 2 days
    edition of 15  9 remaining
    Purchasable with gift card

      £10 GBP or more 

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Limited edition compact disc plus 13 x 13 cm versions of all seven track prints + album cover.

    Includes unlimited streaming of half-boy via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 2 days
    edition of 15 
    Purchasable with gift card

      £10 GBP or more 

     

1.
Nighthawk 04:25
The Nighthawk taps at the window Crying to come in "Let me tell you the thoughts that you hoped you forgot; we can listen together again" He'll perch on the chair in the corner The dark will roll over the room And the worries you share Will cut through the air But your glad for the company still And the Nighthawk sings: "Will your chest ever fill up its emptiness? How could you let your love drain away? Is it you they adore, or an act you perform? Do you lie in every word that you speak?" "If you want her too much is it shameful? Is it loneliness or is it true? Do you know in the end you'll just break it all again They all deserve more than you'll give" "What if they don't all make it through this? Will some add to the thousands who go? Have you done all you can or just left them again? Will she gasp a last breath all alone?" "Enough, enough" he cries in his love, The nighthawk he cries in his love Oh, Nighthawk, nighthawk I'll never be enough Nighthawk, nighthawk, I'll never be enough
2.
You're the first face I've ever seen Neon smile shining down at me And I'll straighten up, Your hand in my glove I want to fit desperately Lights will time your voice surrounds me Eyes projecting what I want to see A warm summer glow My arm round your shoulder Mirror the moves on the screen You were always older than your age A confidence I try to emulate But I live for the talks That we have when we're drunk When you dare me with your honesty And if the world closed around us There's nowhere I'd rather be Than playing every last card in my hand But you'll still win, cause I'll never be him When someday you'll be far away from here Adventuring into the sun Take a trip to the moon, He'll say "I still love you" for you showed me what that should mean
3.
When I can't see the sun Angry lines will cross my arms You'll know what I've done Ghostly pale, my spirit's gone All I never said Keeps me locked away in bed Films play through my head Scenes I wish you'd write instead But I like falling apart Half-light room, you'll touch my arm When I can't talk Chest caved in, and eyes gone dark Oh sweet bitter love oh sweet bitter love With vapoured breath we walk Tell me about your paperback love I can't measure up A half-boy's heart is just too small It hurts so good when you talk Words scrape their way across my heart But I like falling apart Answer my questions, bleed me out Oh sweet bitter love oh sweet bitter love I prefer ruin to Risking a change in you Intimate loneliness Only the flash of love Drunk staring into a glass Avoiding your eyes and the past But I like falling apart Bury my bones in your backyard A daisy pulled from the ground Anything just to have you around Oh sweet bitter love oh sweet bitter love
4.
Femme Fatale 05:22
In the beginning there was light Her want was eager, gently eager Staring down the thoughts of doubt I knew that she was only playing Nothing truly black and white Hands through hair and skin entwined And if my fingers graze your skirt Your breath will catch against my throat As dark will face us in the deep, graying sea I'll never meet you in this crooked sleep Straight and narrow, trace my spine Convince ourselves that this is fine This fire in your bones will spread The heat will tie us to your bed Lead me not into temptation I know better than to fall Follow me into the water Strip me to my bones in dark Who am I to press the issue Who are you denying it Merely curious and lonely Til the end we'll both resist Let me take you to the edge where We can wade into the sea As our bodies freeze together Aching from the vaporous heat Lead us not into temptation Lord, deliver us from sin Crack my ribs in angry wisdom Never to be touched again And now I'll creep upon the ground Ashamed of asking what she felt The taste of apple on my lips As we buried what we did As dark will face us in the deep, graying sea I'll never meet you in this crooked sleep
5.
Once when we were younger Half pints and cheap cider Holding my hand, wild and grand Dressed in the same tshirts Drunk, lean in your shoulder Same, every day, See you tomorrow, get home safe Sing me a song off key, Chanting our melody Paint in our hair, an island upstairs Sit on my bedroom floor Crying for wanting more We've just begun You're mourning a loss that hasn't come Birthday candles burning low How we learned we're not alone Slap my hand to share our love You're there before I call When my country goes too far Right all the wrong with tea and a film Now when we share our walls Make dinner just to talk Tears in our eyes How was your day are you alright For two years I grow older Heart shrunken open but You pull me up, dust off the doubt Bleach out the old mistakes Laugh in the face of shame Like we used to do Remind me who I was next to you Birthday candles burning low How we learned we're not alone Slap my hand to share our love Now when the world is still I'm back with you in that bar as you say, "We'll be okay" Neon and mismatched chairs, Chet softly sings downstairs: "It's always you" Stay home safe, I'll see you soon
6.
The first day when we're introduced Her favourite film becomes the room We sit together briefly in a dream of growing old In hours spent a drink apart Letting time wash over us Nothing else could matter if I get to feel her smile But shadow flickers through our heads "Remember, someday we'll be dead" I know it every day but sometimes I can still forget When hand in hand the lights will fade And fear will slowly grip my face No music starts to play To carry us upon it's grace I know each story ends the same A fleeting spirit drifts away Clinging to the hearts it knew, So desperate to stay Let me see it all again, Our life projected, scene by scene Show me how her eyes Could brighten every single frame Still I linger back to wait For her to catch up to our fate So we can sit forever as we did on that first day A soul will flicker cross the room - A changing reel, or is it you? Let's stay and watch and try to un-remember what is true
7.
I'm a mess We dance until we're broken Screaming as we pour over ice Pull me in Hug me like a father, I need someone to tell me it's fine I'm a mess As you blindfold me and spin me, Point me to a heart I can break Oh, I can only be your half-boy oh, I can only be your half-boy 2am, coked up in the bathroom I'll listen to the lies of your mind We're a mess Kiss my face but later He'll run his hand up over your thigh Oh, I can only be your half-boy oh, I can only be your half-boy Break me in the morning light When the high comes down And you're alright Come with me When the sun crawls up to meet us Don't let me go alone to a cold bed I'm a mess Please can't we stay forever, a half-boy and a starlet, hearts full up, abandoned in true joy Oh, I can only be your half-boy oh, I can only be your half-boy Break me in the morning light When the high comes down And you're alright

about

This album was recorded on a phone during the first UK national lockdown.

It's for anxiety, for queerness, for busted up hearts, for best friends, for homesickness, for fear, for joy, for genesis, and for the nighthawk.

All the proceeds from the album and print sales will go to support Mermaids UK, a charity supporting trans and gender diverse children and their families, and Say It Out Loud Club, which supports LGBTQ+ refugees and asylum seekers in the UK.

Print artists:

Nighthawk - Tinuke Fagborun
12 Hour Kiosk Shift - Grace Garnet
Sweet or Salted - Jo Mance
Femme Fatale - Julie Reintjes
Secret Handshake - Katrina Longo
The Ghost of Screen 1 - slav.spice
Xmas Party - Joseph Daly

credits

released December 1, 2020

music and lyrics by EJ Lee
music for 'xmas party' by SPIKE
additional synths and flute by Hannah McLaughlin
mastered by Mark Estall at Marketstall Recording

license

all rights reserved

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about

half-boy London, UK

i can only be your half-boy

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